The Power of Bugles

Hi guys, it's been a while, hasn't it? Life happens. College happens. And dates happen. All the ears vaguely perk up. Dates, you say?

 Now I've got your attention.

Story time:

During my sophomore year in college, I happened to meet a cool human from Hong Kong. We'll call him Hildebrand, because I don't want to give out his real name, and I enjoy randomly naming people Hildebrand. He was in all of my classes, and because of this, I struck up a conversation with him. He was great, and we had things in common- mainly the fact that we both liked to stalk and draw people. Besides, he had great hair.




I actually have a close girl friend that lives in Hong Kong, and I felt connected somehow, someway, to this Hildebrand boy who shared her world. I'm extremely interested in travelling, and other places, and the chance to ask people about their cultures and customs and food, is one of my favorite things to do. So of course, meeting another someone from HK was an added bonus to the fabulous hair and sketching and general niceness of this guy.

Anyway, tangent aside, one thing led to another and Hildebrand and I started making plans to go out together.

We had fun on our dates, which were mostly just an excuse to hang out and sketch between classes, and we became friends. We had a good time, as you might be able to gather, and I think that's the whole point of dates. After the 11 week term was up, we parted ways. Not because we'd fallen passionately in love, decided we hated each other, and then violently broken our hearts.




Nope. Our schedules changed. Ah, schedules. Tearing apart platonic relationships for ages. I'm going to miss that boy.

Other than the occasional friend bringing him up and insisting we were soul mates and that I needed to move to Hong Kong to birth his 17 children, Hildebrand drifted out of the picture. Meanwhile, my girl friend, Kate, in HK and I decided we wanted to further merge our worlds by sending each other care packages of our favorite snack food. Which, by the way, I encourage everyone to do. It's fun, and neat to try things you've never even heard of before. Like, she doesn't know what Bugles are. I'm excited to show her the wonders of Bugles.


(Gaze upon the glory) 

Enter my grandmother. You're probably wondering what the heck my grandma has to do with Bugles or dating. I'm getting to that.

 I have a lot of online friends from all over the world and the states. I love each and every one of them. <3 They're amazing people, and some of the dearest friends I could ask for. And they occasionally do cool things like gift me with free food.

Now, my grandmother is great, but she has always been apprehensive of online people. No mater what I tell her, or what proof I provide, she still thinks that they're all 80 year old perverts living in the sewers, lying in wait to kill me. Even full on Skype, face to face, voice to voice, soul to soul, won't convince her that they're real people. Because nonexistent sewer dwellers are just that good at disguises.



Grandmother had found out about Hildebrand through a slip of the tongue, and another slip of the tongue revealed Kate and the care packages.

 Grandmother pondered this news for a moment, and then simply said, "Do you have a thing for Asians or something?"

...

Silence.

Have...I...what?

"I mean, that makes two of them now."

Yes, but-

"Well, have you? Because it seems like you do"

My grandma wasn't actually trying to be racist, but I couldn't believe my ears. I wanted to laugh.

 Yes, having two Asian friends one hundred percent means I have a thing. Several things. I'm secretly in love with them. I want to move to Asia to get surgery to become Asian. I am Asian. What are you talking about? This isn't simply a thing, Grandmother. It's a lifestyle. Don't judge me.

(oh, whatever Sean Bean. It's happening. I have a thing) 

This got me questioning reality. What if I did have a thing for Asians? What does that even mean? Do I have too many Asian friends? How many is too many? I mean, clearly having 50 white friends is fine, but oh man. Asians are just too much. You should only have one.

If it came down to a fight to the death between my friends over who could remain with me, who would win? I mean, Hildebrand is pretty strong compared to Kate. But Kate has the power of Bugles now, and sheer determination. And two hands.

Who do you think would win? I'm putting my money on Kate. 

Well, that's all for now. 

~Cheers